Sweating in the night

I've been really tired lately. Exhausted, I'd even say. Kit tells me I'm pushing myself too far and hard, which is probably the truth. The way I see it, I have a limited amount of energy, but it is SOME energy, so take it and do what I can with it. Unfortunately, my attitude of "get stuff done while I can" may be hurting my body more than it is helping my mind.

My tummy has been in knots since the day before thanksgiving. Heavy medication on the strict orders of the lady-wife kept me able to be able-bodied enough to be around people without them noticing my pain too much on the holiday itself. We did 2 thanksgiving dinners, one with each of our families, we made the same thing for both dinners, because we are thinkers, Broccoli Salad, Hot & Sour Soup, and Jasmine Rice. Just after dinner was over at the second I crashed. I probably slept a total of 3-4 hours at Kit's grandparents' house, which they were more than happy to let me use. I kept waking up to grandma or grandpa tossing another blanket on a part of mine that had escaped, and Kit would come check on me to make sure I hadn't fallen too deep into turkey sleep.

I awoke, and Kit began the drive home until I was able to settle my stomach enough and gain my senses back from my 4 hour fore into dream land. I took over around HQX and we got home safe around 10:30pm. I didn't fall back to sleep however until 2:30am.

Then up again at 6am. I tried to take it easy, but that seems to be hard me. I went Black Friday shopping with Kit, at Sears we got overcharged. I showed the sign that priced the items, and I was told "It doesn't matter." and the employee threw the sign away in front of me. I lost my temper, got my stress levels rising, and shocked the store into near silence. I realized I was going to get no where with this ridiculous woman, so I went to sit in my car so to not cause any further embarrassment to Kit. I should add at this point that I was not properly medicated. Let that illustrate whichever picture you want.

We drop me off at home, and Kit goes back to shopping (Not mad at me by the way! She was pretty angry at Sears too. Just wanted to clarify that we were not fighting when I was banished to the car, it was a "better for everyone" situation") I played video games, guitar and watched movies, only a little activity in the early afternoon. I ended up sleeping for 2 hours right after the afternoon delight, then more guitar, video games and TV until 7:30 when I simply just sunk into the bed.

I had nightmares, woke frequently, and sweat so much, probably will need to change the sheets today. You'd think for being so tired... Whatever. I'm up now, it's cold, my stomach still hurts, and I don't enjoy the prospect of doing even less than I did yesterday in order to feel better tomorrow. And I don't enjoy not knowing if it will even work. I want to do things beyond sitting here, or there, or standing momentarily, or brief walks where i can find reason enough.

I feel like I am capable of so much more, but I'm not allowed.